Acceptance - Stages of Grief Series
This is it! You’ve made it to the last stage of grief. You’ve completed your grief journey, and everything from here on out is just sunshine and roses!
Umm… Nope. I wish that were true, but it’s not.
We’ve talked about Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and now we’re on to the Acceptance stage of grief. However, there are many misconceptions about this stage that I’m going to clear up for you.
First of all, “acceptance” doesn’t mean that, as a griever, you are “over '' the death of your loved one or even finished grieving. It doesn’t mean that you are “okay” with it.
It simply means that you have accepted the death as a reality and realize that your new reality isn’t going anywhere.
Website for the charity I created in my daughter’s honor, LiveLikeLibby.org
You will still cry, and get angry, and wish things were different – we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t do that. However, it will be less often, and there will be more hope and joy than there was before. The edges will dull over time.
A large part of the acceptance phase is the desire to make a connection with or meaning of our person’s memory. Many people create charities in their loved ones honor, like I did for my daughter. Others might make donations to causes, or do special things like going to their loved one’s favorite restaurant on their birthday.
Libby’s favorite restaurant… We go here on her birthday and eat noodles. ❤️
We learn to honor their lives and spend more time appreciating the memories we have. That doesn’t mean we don’t cry over the memories that we don’t get to have. We learn to ride the grief like a wave … up, and down. Up, and down. And as the time goes on, the waves go from huge swells and crashes to a more gentle flow.
I said in the first post, and I will repeat it again because it is so important to remember: The stages of grief are NOT linear. Everyone grieves differently, and no one’s journey is the same. I have lingered in some stages more than others, and double-backed to depression several times. I have gotten stuck in the “Why me’s?” and “What if’s?”
The most important thing is to KEEP MOVING. Keep waking up each day and being mindful of how you’re feeling. Figure out what is making you feel that way. Get support – either from friends and family or from a professional. Make a choice every day to continue your journey, doing the best you can for YOU. You’re not on anyone else’s timeline. This is YOUR unique journey.
If you are struggling, please feel free to utilize any of the resources on my website. And, if you’re struggling with the loss of a child, I have a private, virtual Child Loss Support Group.
