what to do when you’re drowning in grief…
Hey there, everyone! If you know me even a smidge, you’re well aware that tsunamis downright terrify me, and yet, bizarrely, I’m obsessed with them. It’s like I can’t resist diving into shows and films where massive waves take the spotlight—think “The Perfect Storm” or any big wave surf show that showcases those mind-blowing, yet terrifying monster waves.
Recently, it hit me. Those daredevil surfers, who willingly throw themselves into those mammoth waves, have somehow unlocked the secret to surviving the monstrous pressure and chaos of the underwater turmoil when they wipe out. Their secret? Practice and developing coping mechanisms to navigate through it all. And in a way, that’s not too different from what we need to do when we navigate through the massive, unpredictable waves of grief.
This is where I invite you to think about a concept I fondly dubbed as the “Healthy Living Library”. (You know, because my English teacher soul just adores libraries!) Essentially, it's a collection of strategies or, if you will, a personal library of coping mechanisms to ensure we don’t drown in the tidal wave of our grief. It's like having your own DIY guide that helps you through those profoundly tough times, precisely tailored to what you find solace in.
Creating your own Healthy Living Library along your grief journey, filled with things you enjoy and find comforting, could be a lifesaver during those unexpected moments when grief hits like a tsunami. And while I’m totally going to share mine as a starting point, feel free to grab a piece of paper, a doc on your laptop, or whatever works, and start jotting down stuff that speaks to you as we go along.
In this library, you’ll be shelving various coping strategies. It could be anything from indulging in a creative spree like drawing, cooking, or belting out to your favorite tunes, to perhaps something more social such as texting a friend (calling if you’re not phone-shy like me!). Your library may feature physical activities like a walk, emotional outlets like journaling, spiritual moments like meditation, or even the mundane-yet-oddly-satisfying tasks like folding laundry.
Honestly, when grief's wave crashes over you, having that pre-made list of go-tos can make all the difference. It’s like having a personalized roadmap that helps steer through the foggy, disorienting moments grief often brings. Once your list is ready, keep it somewhere in plain sight or snap a pic on your phone for an easy reminder even when you’re on the move.
To give you a tiny peek into my world, my Healthy Living Library has nuggets like watching TV shows, tuning into audiobooks, practicing box breathing, showering while zoning out to an audiobook, and yes, even cleaning! And, because I adore baking, whisking together something delicious like banana mini chocolate chip muffins (yep, they're as yummy as they sound) is another strategy on my list.
But hey, the critical thing here is to ensure whatever goes on your list should be something you truly enjoy and find comforting—it's supposed to be a lifeline, a breather from those challenging moments. Let it be your tiny raft amidst the grief's turbulent waves.
Whatever you choose, remember, these are the coping tools that’ll give you a chance to surface, catch your breath, and ride out the wave until you find calmer waters again. And remember, it's all about staying afloat, surviving the wave, and then riding the next one with a bit more steadiness.
So, here's to building our Healthy Living Libraries and learning to surf our own massive waves. Let’s create our survival toolkits and, in doing so, help ourselves navigate through the stormy seas of our grief journeys with a little more assurance. Stay strong, wave riders.
If you’d like a copy of my Healthy Living Library, feel free to download it HERE. 🌊💙
If you’d like to watch the video version of this blog post, it’s below!
