Life Updates, Holiday Reflections, and Looking Ahead
I thought it’d be the perfect time for a life update and a bit of a ramble about what’s been happening with me, my feelings this holiday season, and some upcoming things in my life. I recently recorded an episode of my livestream “Mourning Coffee” where I talked about what I’m going through at the moment. I’m touching on the highlights here, but if you’d like to watch the whole thing, HERE IT IS.
Reflecting on Loss and Grief
It's been a year of significant loss for me. This is my second year without my daughter, Libby, who died in a car accident, my second without my dad, and my first without my mom. I wanted to talk a bit about Libby and how I've been navigating my grief.
The holiday season has brought a mix of emotions. Decorating Libby's crash site with rose gold decorations – her favorite – was both heartwarming and challenging. Participating in charity events like the 'Gifts That Give Hope' fair and dealing with the emotional impact of such events are parts of my holiday experiences.
Decorating for Christmas, especially placing Libby's dancer ornament on the tree, was an emotional highlight. It's these little moments that sometimes feel more impactful than the big anniversaries or holidays.
Navigating School Life
As an eighth-grade teacher, working in the same school where Libby would have been a seventh-grader is emotionally complex. Seeing her friends, imagining her at her locker, or picturing her in classrooms – these moments bring a different kind of pain, different from the holiday grief.
I've found that sometimes, it's the everyday moments, not just the holidays or anniversaries, that are harder to get through. Missing out on everyday experiences with Libby can be more challenging than the bigger occasions.
A New Perspective on Christmas
This year, I'm experiencing a different kind of Christmas without my mom. She was obsessed with Christmas and had a rigid routine for the holidays. For the first time, I'm finding a bit of relief in having the freedom to establish my own holiday routines with my family.
Focusing on Simplification and Slow Living
I'm embracing simplification and slow living. From making homemade gifts to enjoying my tiny house, I'm focusing on what's important and giving myself more grace. This approach is helping me manage grief and find joy in the little things.
Looking Forward to 2024
Exciting things are on the horizon for 2024. I'm looking forward to publishing my book, speaking at conferences, and continuing my journey on this channel. These opportunities to share my story and connect with others are what I'm most excited about.
