empty nest tales

PART 2: Empty Nest

So, along with my mom dying, the other big change that’s happened to me in the past few months is that I’ve become an empty nester. I even bought a tiny house, which is a whole thing I’ll write about later, but if you want to watch the video about it, click HERE.

Now, if I’m being honest, back in the days of being a mom with three busy kids, when I was running around like a complete nut and constantly exhausted and craving “me time,” being an empty nester sounded awesome.

And it is, in many ways. I mean, my grocery bill has gone from the GDP of a small country to non-existent. I can watch whatever I want on TV, or sit and read a book without interruption. I can walk around with bedhead wearing whatever I want without the fear that I’ll encounter some random friend of my boys standing in my kitchen. My house stays clean. Like, all the time. Without even really trying.

But here’s the problem. It just doesn’t feel… RIGHT. Because it wasn’t supposed to be this way yet. I’m still supposed to be a mom, running around to dance practices and competitions and camps and school events. I’m supposed to be searching for bobby pins and talking about cute boys and shopping for back-t0-school clothes.

It’s difficult to enjoy my new found freedom when it’s always served with a very hefty side of guilt. Stupid things like binge-watching Ted Lasso for an entire day sort of pale in comparison to cuddling up with Libby and watching Little House on the Prairie reruns.

One of the positive things about the empty nest is that I’m actually seeing my sons MORE now that I don’t live with them, which is great. I feel like I never saw them when they lived at home, but now they will actually text me occasionally and —GASP— invite me over for dinner, and go on vacation with me and not seem too miserable. 👍

All in all, it’s a very large adjustment. I definitely have my bad moments (example HERE), but I’m trying to get out and about and create routines that get me out of the house and among society. I’m going to live shows, and taking a few exercise classes at a local recreation center, and exploring my new town. I'm currently writing this at a coffee shop instead of curled up on my sofa in my pajamas, so go me!