Dear Grieving Mother…

At my group therapy appointment today, we were tasked with the assignment of writing an “inspirational message” to anyone of our choice. We only had about ten minutes, but I thought I’d share mine in the hopes that it might serve its purpose and help anyone else going through this hell.

Dear Grieving Mother,

Just hang on.

That’s all you can do. Your life has been shattered, your body feels like it has been ripped wide open, your future is now unimaginable.

Your every breath seems forced and painful. It never occurred to you that someday you’d have to endure something so devastating that you’d have to remind yourself to breathe. But here you are.

Your child’s death has changed everything you know about the world, and infiltrated every aspect of your existence.

Honestly, it feels like there is no reason to exist at all.

But Grieving Mother… just hang on.

Grip life by the fingernails and take one deep breath after another. Let yourself cry and scream and break down. Let yourself drown in your grief and stare blankly at the pictures and re-live the memories over and over and over and wail and mourn the years that would’ve been.

And then, hang on.

Every day. Just keep hanging on.

Wake up, take a shower, put on clean clothes, and get whatever done that you can before your body crashes from exhaustion. Talk to people, even if you don’t feel like it. Accept help. Get counseling. Go on walks. Drink water.

Just keep going.

And eventually, there will be days when your new future doesn’t seem quite so hopeless. Where you can actually smile and not feel guilty. Where you’re able to remember a silly story about the amazing human you brought into the world, and it will make you laugh instead of cry.

Mama, just hang on.

You can survive this.